More Things To Say
by iamkellylouise
Summary: He knows he's hurt her, he knows he was wrong, but he also knows that things are far from over, because he has so much more to say. AU 3x21.


**A/N: Not sure if I like this or not! Don't feel like I've written anything decent in a while to be honest, especially not for Addex! Had this mostly finished for weeks but had to tie up some loose ends before posting! Hope you like it more than I do :P**

**Set the day after 3x21 (No LA!)**

* * *

><p><em>More Things To Say<br>__~x~_

Addison stood at the nurses station staring at the chart in front of her, her arm resting next to it, holding her head up with her hand, her eyes were red, her skin pale, her hair scraped back into a ponytail, she yawned and let out a sigh, blinking to try and keep her vision from blurring.

"Dr Montgomery" Alex said walking up to her.

"What?" she snapped, not looking up from the chart.

"I'm with you today" he said quietly.

"I don't need you, go and study or help in the pit or something" she said with no tone to her voice.

"But I thought I was scrubbing in on…."

"What about 'I don't need you' did you not understand?" she snapped, looking up at him, Alex frowned at her sunken appearance "I do not need you" she said shakily "So just stay out of my face Karev, no, y'know what, stay out of my life, that's the least you owe me"

"Ok" he whispered "I'm sorry"

"Yeah, well so am I" she said putting her chart with the others before storming down the hallway leaving Alex stood staring at her form walking away.

~x~

"Are you ok?" Callie asked as she sat with Addison in the cafeteria.

"Hmm?" Addison said looking up at her.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah I just, I'm tired that's all" Addison shrugged.

"Okay" Callie said slowly "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine" Addison snapped.

"Ok, I'm going to let you get away with speaking to me like that because you never have done before and you're my best friend, but you better start talking soon because I'm not sitting back and watching you self-destruct"

"I went there" she said quietly "Where you told me to go, I went there" she mumbled.

"You, you slept with Karev?" Callie asked with a whisper, Addison nodded "Was it bad?"

"No" Addison said with slight laugh "Definitely not bad, far from bad, until I asked him to join me for a drink and he told me I wasn't his girlfriend, and he didn't have time for one, which, which I'd be completely ok with if he didn't say it in a way which pretty much said he doesn't care one bit about me"

"That's not true, he does care" Callie said softly.

"Oh yeah? Well he's got a funny way of showing it. And don't stick up for him, you're _my_ best friend not his, you need to be, threatening to break all his bones or something"

"Addie" Callie said with a slight laugh "I'd quite happily do that for you, but, I also know that you feel more for him than you're letting on, so maybe you should just, talk to him"

"No" Addison said quietly "I'm not doing this anymore, I'm not, chasing after guys who clearly don't want me, it's not happening, can we talk about you now?"

"Ok" Callie nodded "I want a baby"

"You do?" Addison said with a small smile.

"I do" Callie smiled "I think we're gonna try"

"That's great Callie" Addison said squeezing her hand gently "You'll be a great Mom"

"I hope so" Callie breathed out.

"I know so" Addison smiled "I better be Godmother"

"I wouldn't choose anyone else" Callie laughed.

~x~

**2 months later.**

"Callie?" Addison frowned as she opened her hotel room door "Cal are you ok?"

"George slept with Izzie" Callie choked out.

"Oh sweetie" Addison sighed, she pulled her into the room and closed the door, she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly "What happened?" she asked gently, she led her to the bed and they sat down.

"I just, knew, before he even said anything I knew" she said quietly "I, I told him we could try, I told him we could fight to stay together because, because I couldn't just throw us away, I wanted to, try and forgive him but, he couldn't even answer me, and now I know that, that he, he wants her" she sobbed "He wants her"

"Sshh it's ok" Addison whispered, rubbing her back slowly "It's ok, you'll be ok, he's not worth it, if he can do that he's not worth it, do you want me to go and kick his ass for you? Or hers? Because I will"

"No" Callie sniffled "No I, I just, I want to sleep, I want to sleep and not, not think about it for a while"

"Ok" Addison said softly "Do you want to stay with me? I have something you can sleep in"

"Ok" Callie nodded "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom"

"Ok" Addison said with a small smile, as Callie went to the bathroom she searched for her spare pyjamas, Callie returned within minutes "I got paged" she lied "But I shouldn't be long, you get some rest"

"Addie, do you think, do you think I did something? Something wrong?"

"No Callie" Addison said softly "You did nothing wrong, he's the one who messed this up, don't ever think it was anything you did"

"Hmm" Callie sighed "I'll see you soon then?"

"I'll be as quick as I can" Addison said kissing her cheek "Abuse my room service if you want, I'll let downstairs know you're up here and not to tell George if he comes looking for you"

"I doubt that" Callie said with a sad laugh, Addison just smiled sadly at her before grabbing her coat and bag before leaving.

~x~

"Is George here?" Addison asked firmly as Derek opened the door to Meredith's house.

"Erm, sure, everyone's in the kitchen" Derek said with a stutter "Is everything ok?"

"No" Addison said pushing past him and storming towards the kitchen, Derek quickly followed, in the kitchen Meredith and Alex sat at the table as George and Izzie leaned against the island, before anyone could speak Addison stormed forward and slapped George around the face.

"What the…" Izzie started.

"I will hit you too if you don't keep your mouth shut!" Addison snapped "Is it _fun_ for you? Breaking your wife's heart?" she asked George firmly "Do you get some sort of kick out of it? Because right now that's the only possible explanation I can think of. And even that wouldn't be anywhere near acceptable" she said angrily "She has been there for you whenever you needed her, she's supported you through everything, she wants your children you asshole, and y'know what, even though she's heartbroken right now, I am so glad she's getting the hell away from you sooner rather than later, because she deserves so much more than a whiny pathetic loser like you, goodbye Dr O'Malley" she spat, she made a disgusted noise at Izzie before turning to leave.

"Y'know you cheated too" Izzie called out, her voice wavering a little, Addison stopped still before she reached the door, everyone else in the room winced "You, you cheated so, so you shouldn't be, be yelling at him"

Addison took a breath before turning on her heel and moving close to Izzie, almost squaring up to her.

"You don't know anything about what my marriage was before that happened" Addison said firmly "You know what you've been told by hospital gossip, but you don't _know_, you don't _know_ that my husband stopped coming home a year before he left, you don't know that for the year before that he was home enough times I can pretty much count them on my hands, you don't know, that he forgot 3 anniversaries, 2 birthdays, 2 thanksgivings, 2 christmases, and 2 new years eves, that he swapped sleeping in a bed with his wife for a scalpel in his hand, that he'd get his secretary to tell me he wasn't coming home for dinner, and that was only for a couple of months, because after that he didn't bother, you don't know that I'd sit home every single night worrying that he'd been in a car accident or he'd been mugged on his way out of the office, and the only thing that'd stop me going crazy was our best friend sitting with me until I fell asleep. Yes, I should've spoken up when things got tough, yes, I shouldn't have slept with Mark, yes, I made mistakes in my marriage, but I did not cheat on someone who was there for me, who loved me, who wanted a family with me, so don't you even dare put me in the same box as him, or you for that matter, if I was you, I'd stay the hell away from me and even further away from Callie you dirty disgusting little tramp" she turned to walk away again, this time she reached the front door before she felt a hand on her wrist.

"What?" she snapped when she turned around, tears were streaming down her cheeks "What the hell do you want?" she asked shakily as she stared at Alex.

"That was, amazing, you kicked their asses" he said with a small smile.

"Well that's what you get when you hurt my best friend" she said quietly.

"Well I'm glad, that you said it, someone had too so…"

"Why are you talking to me?" she asked bluntly.

"Well I just…" he started.

"Thought I'd forget how much I hate you?" she asked.

"Addison…" he breathed out "It's been 2 months"

"And?" she exclaimed loudly "You think time heals Alex? Because it doesn't! Time doesn't heal anything, I've got been seeing a $400 dollar an hour shrink since I got divorced and my life is still as insane as it was then! You screwed me over, you screwed me over and I will never, ever forgive you for that, I was ready to let you in, I was ready to finally let someone care about me but, but you don't care about me at all, you never have and you never will, because if you did, you wouldn't be talking to me right now, you'd be respecting my request for you to stay out of my life"

"I do care about you" he said quietly "Addison I do care about you"

"Well you have a pretty funny way of showing it" she said with a sad laugh "I'm not an idiot Alex, I knew I wasn't your girlfriend, I'm not that desperate, but I thought you at least had enough respect to for me to just tell me you didn't want me, I thought, I thought you had more respect for me than the nurses you've screwed and left…."

"It wasn't like that" he said cutting her off "It wasn't Addison"

"Then what was it like?" she snapped.

"You want the whole thing, the marriage and the babies and, all the family stuff that, that you deserve, you deserve all of that, you deserve to be happy, and I just, I was so scared that, that I'd hurt you even more than I did that day, it is, absolutely killing me that I'm not with you, it's, killing me that I can't hold you right now and tell you everything is going to be ok, because I love you, I've loved you, for so long, and I just couldn't stand the thought of us being together, and having that family, and screwing everything up so bad that, I wouldn't even get to see you every day like I can now, I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't expect you to stop hating me, but I really hope, you can try and understand, that I never, ever want to see you get hurt, ever, and all I want, is to see you get the happiness you deserve"

"I, I have to go" Addison managed to whisper through her tears "I can't, I have to go" she quickly opened the door and ran to her car, Alex sighed and closed the door behind her, dropping his forehead against it.

"Alex?" he heard Meredith say from behind him, he turned around and leant back against the door with a sigh "Alex, was that, did we, hear that right?"

"Yeah" he whispered.

"Why don't you go after her?"

"Because, I love her, and I really can't watch her walk away again" he said quietly "I'm gonna go and, I'm just gonna, go" he said grabbing his jacket, checking his pocket for his keys before leaving the house and hurriedly racing off in his car.

~x~

**1 week later.**

Meredith stood at the nurses station with a phone pressed to her ear, not paying attention to anything around her or Addison moving to stand not far away from her.

"Alex, it's Meredith, again" she said frustratedly "I'm getting really worried now, it's been a week and you haven't called, anyone, please just, just let me know you're safe, I've let you have the time because I know you needed some but now, if you don't call me soon I'll call the police and report you as a missing person, and you know I'll do it, so please, call me, call someone, and even though I want to kill you right now, I love you, and I miss you, so just, let me know you're safe, bye Alex" she said quietly before hanging up, she let out a sigh and ran a hand over her face, she looked up to see Addison staring at her, Addison quickly looked away and back to her chart, Meredith walked closer and stopped in front of her "I know you're, mad at him or whatever, and you should be, I mean from what I, overheard, you're allowed to be mad at him but, he's, he's not just our friend, he's our family, and I know you don't owe us anything, I slept with your husband, Izzie and George hurt your best friend, we don't, we don't deserve anything from you, but, but if you can just, call him, try and call him, and make sure he's safe, that'd be, pretty great for, all of us"

"What makes you think he'll pick up for me?" Addison said quietly.

"He loves you" Meredith said simply "And I know you care about him, you must be worried too"

"I don't feel anything for him" Addison said unconvincingly.

"I think we both know that's not true" Meredith said squeezing her arm lightly before leaving.

~x~

Addison sat on the edge of her bed with her phone in her hand, she found Alex's number and hovered her thumb over the call button, she took a breath before hitting it and holding her phone to her ear, after a few rings it went to voicemail "Alex hi it's, it's me" she said quietly "Addison" she added "I, I'm just calling because, because your friends they, they're really worried about you and, and just, just call them ok? Well I, I'll leave you alone now so, bye" she whispered before hanging up, she moved to lie on her bed, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths, she jumped a little as her phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered with a sigh.

"It's me" Alex said quietly "Alex" he added.

"I know" she said equally as quiet "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" he replied "I'm, I'm in Iowa, with my brother and sister, and my Mom, kind of"

"What d'you mean?" she frowned.

"She's been in residential care for schizophrenics for 6 months, I figured it was time I showed my face, especially since I'm spending all my wages on the place"

"You could've just told people that, you didn't have to just, leave, you're putting your job at risk, your friends are worried sick, there's no need for you to just, run away like this"

"I don't really want everyone knowing about my past y'know?" he said quietly "And, and when I left, that wasn't why I left"

"Then why did you?" she asked quietly.

"Because, I wanted to, give you some space" he replied "I wanted, I wanted you to, to try and forget about me"

"You think you disappearing has made me forget about you?" she asked incredously "Alex I've been worried sick about you!" she snapped "For all I knew you could've been dying in some hospital somewhere!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"Yeah, well, you should be" she said firmly.

"I know"

"And I don't, I don't want to forget about you" she sighed "I don't ever want to, forget about you"

"You don't?" he asked warily.

"I'm still mad at you, and I don't trust you, but, but I do care about you, so just, just please come, come home soon, call your friends, call the Chief, do what you have to do in Iowa, and come home, please"

"Ok" he replied instantly.

"Ok" Addison whispered "I'll see you then"

"Where are you staying?" Alex asked.

"The Archfield, room 2214"

"Ok" Alex said with a small smile.

"Well, bye then"

"Bye" Alex said quietly, Addison hung up the phone and lay back on the bed with a sigh.

~x~

**2 days later.**

Addison yawned as she climbed off her bed to answer her hotel room door, she opened it and took in a sharp breath.

"Hi" Alex said quietly.

"Hi" she breathed out, they stared at each other for a moment before their lips crashed together, Alex kicked the door shut with his foot as he pushed her back into the room a little, as they pulled apart Addison wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry" he whispered "I'm so sorry"

"Sshh I know, I know" she whispered back.

"I just didn't know what to do" he mumbled against her shoulder.

"I know" she said softly "It's ok"

"It isn't" he whispered, Addison pulled back a little and cupped his face "It's ok" she said with a small smile "You did hurt me, but I will forget it, because, I love you, and all I want, is to be with you, it's not important to me if we get married or we don't, if we have kids or we don't, because I just, want to be with you, for as long as you'll have me"

"I want you forever" Alex smiled "That's what I want, I want you and me, to be together for the rest of our lives, and we will get married one day, and I want us to have as many kids as you're willing to have, I'm in love with you Addison Montgomery, and I will do anything to make you happy"

"Ok" she sniffled "So we're, we're doing this then?"

"We're doing this" Alex smiled "I love you"

"I love you too" Addison smiled back "But you should go, go and see Meredith and everyone, they're really worried, I told them you were ok but, they just want to know you're safe"

"I don't want to leave you" he said quietly.

"Take this" Addison said picking up her key card and passing it to him "Go and see them, go and, talk to the Chief, and I'll be right here waiting for you"

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure" she smiled.

"I love you" Alex said kissing her again.

"I love you too" Addison said with a slight laugh "Now go"

"Going" he smirked, he kissed her once more before leaving the room, Addison sat down on her bed and turned on the TV, she frowned when there was a knock at the door, she climbed off the bed and opened it "Cal, hey" she smiled.

"Hey" Callie said with a small smile "Can I come in?"

"Sure" Addison said letting her in, they both moved to sit on the bed "You ok?"

"I just told my Dad about the divorce, and spent half an hour talking him out of come out here to kick George's ass"

"Why would that be a bad thing?" Addison said with a slight laugh.

"Because even though I'm angry, I don't want him to be killed" Callie laughed "I think your slap was enough to petrify him"

"Right" Addison laughed "I know you didn't want me to do that but, I had too, and I'd expect you to do the same for me"

"Of course" Callie smiled "We're just a couple of old single divorcees now huh?"

"Um, well, about that" Addison started shakily "Alex was here, about, 10 minutes ago"

"He was here?" Callie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well when I called him, he asked where I was staying and, he showed up here and we kissed and, talked and, I love him" she said quietly "I made him go and see his friends and he's gonna come back here later so we can, talk more"

"Sure, talk" Callie smirked.

"We're going to really talk" Addison said with a slight laugh "I don't want us to mess it all up again, and that means no sex for a while"

"Does Karev know that?" Callie laughed.

"No" Addison smirked "He'll be ok with it, he will, he's, he loves me"

"I know" Callie said softly "I'm happy for you Addie"

"Thanks" Addison said with a small smile "Is this ok? Me talking about, that?"

"Of course it is" Callie said with a slight laugh "Just because I'm getting a divorce does not mean I'm going to be a crappy best friend and not talk to you about boy stuff, it's not like you can talk to Bailey about it"

"Oh god she's going to kill me" Addison groaned.

"Pretty much" Callie laughed "But she'll get over it, and she'll be happy for you, just like me" she said nudging her "I'm happy for you"

"Thanks" Addison said quietly "Now all we need to do is find you a rebound guy, you can have my old one if you want, you already did once, he's pretty great at that"

"Hmm, well, I don't think I'm quite ready for a night with any man, especially Mark Sloan" Callie chuckled.

"Well I'm sure he'd be there if you needed him" Addison smirked "Now, do you want to watch a cheesy romantic comedy with me?"

"Sure" Callie laughed.

~x~

"Oh, hey" Alex stuttered as he let himself into Addison's hotel room to find Addison and Callie laughing on the bed.

"And I was just leaving…." Callie said going to stand.

"No it's, I can go" Alex said taking a slight step back.

"Karev, stop" Callie said with a slight laugh "I really do need to go so, don't do anything I wouldn't do" she said with a grin and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Oh shut up" Addison said hitting her with a pillow.

"Bye Addie" Callie teased as she left.

"Sorry" Addison said quietly as Alex smirked at her.

"Don't apologize, it's nice to see you with a smile on your face" Alex said kicking his shoes off and moving to lie back on the bed next to her, kissing her gently.

"How were your friends? And the Chief? Is he mad?"

"Not as mad as my friends" Alex said with a slight laugh "We're, we're ok, well, Meredith only hit me once so, that's good"

"That is good" Addison laughed "Alex, you can talk to me y'know, about your family, if you want too"

"Not now but, maybe, maybe later, just, not now" he sighed.

"Ok" Addison said stroking his cheek gently "And me and you, I want us to be together and, I love you but, no sex, not yet, I can't, I just can't start this with sex again"

"I know" Alex said kissing her forehead gently "I understand, you don't trust me yet, I get it, I hurt you, but I'm going to change that ok? You will trust me, one day you'll trust me enough to, to really be in this with me"

"I do trust you" Addison said tentatively.

"You don't" Alex said softly "But you will"

"Can we just, not talk about this anymore? Just, just lie here with me"

"Whatever you want baby" he said kissing her softly, she snuggled closer against him and let out a slight sigh "I told my brother about you" he said quietly after a minute.

"You did?" she asked.

"We might have been a little drunk but, yeah" he smirked "And I showed him a picture, I googled you"

"That's, weird" she laughed.

"I think it's pretty cool" Alex shrugged "He thinks you're hot"

"Good to know" Addison smirked "I want to meet them, your family"

"Maybe one day" he replied quietly "Amber would love you, I want, I want them to move out here, I mean Aaron's old enough to make his own decisions but Amber, she's 16 and, I hate not being there for her, I hate, I just hate it"

"There are plenty of hospitals in Iowa" Addison said softly "There's nothing stopping you going back"

"I'm not going back" he sighed "I can't, going, going back there for a couple of days is hard enough, I can't go back, Seattle was my step forward, and I need to keep taking steps forward, this, this is my home now, this rainy city with my crazy friends and, the woman I love, this is my home, I can't go back"

"Ok" Addison whispered, kissing his knuckles "I understand"

"You do?"

"Of course I do" Addison smiled "Alex I haven't spoken to my father in, years, and I don't really speak to my Mom either, my brother, he's travelling to all these insane places and I have no idea where he is at any one time, he could be anywhere, you're not the only one who's had to take steps forward"

"I guess we're both a little screwed up huh?"

"Pretty much" she laughed "But we can do this Alex"

"I know" he smiled "We can do this" he kissed her lips lightly and then held her a little closer to him, and they simply lay there together, knowing it was the start of their future.

_The End._


End file.
